so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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