you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
