areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
