I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
