I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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