Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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