I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
