I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
