Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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