I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
