Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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