when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you still have your period?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
