Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
