Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize