I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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