thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
