I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
