I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
