Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
