I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
