I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
