Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
