Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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