Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
