The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
