we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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