I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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