I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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