ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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