Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
