You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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