Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
