the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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