I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
