I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
