I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
