everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
