so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
