I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
