I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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