I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
