how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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