yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
