I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
