i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
