you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
