You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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