This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
