So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
