i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
