don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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